Fu%*ing 80-90 Hour Work Weeks, I'm Not Having Fun at All?

Fu%*ing 80-90 Hour Work Weeks, I'm Not Having Fun at All?

When you are "grinding" and feeling forced to put your purpose on your back because it's only you and your Fiverr or Upwork freelancers, what do you when days and months pass without fun? Take a step further and let's say what do you do when you haven't hit your targeted goals on the money end? The clients are dripping in slow and the people around you in your neighborhood and in your family are out enjoying themselves in the hot weather. It stinks especially when you can think back and remember just maybe a year ago or maybe it's been longer than a year when you was having the time of your life. It was like your business was on autopilot and you were able to go out and spend all the money you want, take vacations, and drink the finest of wine, and even roll a little bit of dice down inside of the MGM casino in Vegas. You were a high roller and novelty and spontaneity was your middle name. Does this sound familiar at all?

If it doesn't then maybe my story will inspire you to wake something up within you. I was on a terrible road of destruction for two weeks. I was stuck in a slumber and couldn't figure out why everything seem lifeless. The soul of my business and even the simplest everyday activities that involved self-care was lifeless. It all sucked! It seemed nobody understood me and for that matter I didn't quite understand myself. This wasn't burnout this was just plain lifeless boredom and everything was too routine and my freedom felt suffocated by the responsibility. This wasn't like me though. I have been an adult for some time now and started on that road of adulthood quite early. I worked so hard to develop a routine I can fancy myself with and now I was feeling cramped by it. What was it really I was feeling?

As an entrepreneur suffering with mental health illnesses I must own up to the fact that I can never let my foot off the gas when it comes to managing my symptoms. I wasn't immediately ready to admit that I was starting to "slow the vehicle down and idle" when it came to managing through what was becoming an apparent reverting back to my default safety mechanism within myself to compensate for what I wasn't addressing. I had to address this before I took a free fall downward. First, I recognized that I had been incredibly working and dedicating 80-90 hours of my life per week to only work. People like Dan Pena and Gary Vee would congratulate me. However, I'm telling you the 80-90 hours I "worked" was fruitless because it was soulless. Had my mental health and spirit been properly nourished then the 80-90 hours probably would of been as productive and worth it. So all of this hype that you must work yourself like a horse to accomplish something is pure nonsense if your mental health, body, and spirit isn't properly cared for.

The major difference maker that got me back was when I went into my toolbox to use strategy and self-healing to get myself woke out of whatever I was feeling. That required that I take back some time to myself and also use some of it to focus seriously on myself. I begin to write the hot ticket issue in the form of a question in my journal rather than just talking to myself. It may help to note that I was on a public transit bus when I did this (nothing like a good ride). I placed in big font "No Fun at All?" I identified the following four elements under this:

1. My "forced" routine
2. My "invalidating" environment and the fact that everyone is having fun but not me
3. My life previously was "more fun before"
4. Sense of loss of the former self and my "freedom"

After that I looked at the list and identified what stood out the most that made me feel most sad and emotional. That was number 3 of course! I decided to write a list of positives versus negatives. Interestingly, there were more negatives on that list than positives. The final question I had to answer was: "Is this current time in my life uncomfortable or depressing?"

I answered uncomfortable. Because it's uncomfortable that means that it is temporary and I can get over it. This exercise really transformed the way I view the current state of my life and business. It helped me to be grateful and brought my spirit back down. I was happy again. I instantly remembered that I was doing all of the work to have fun and that my work was suppose to be fun in the first place and if it's not then what the hell am I doing? Thus, the reason why I am back blogging as much as I have been lately! I'm thankful for another holistic life and business transformation.

Marcus Hart

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